Well hello there...
It has been oh so long since my last post.
Life has taken me on a journey of sorts.
Ups and downs, back around, and I finally have my feet headed into a semi-alright direction.
It's funny, all paths eventually lead to the one you are supposed to take, but detours you choose often muddle your way and it may take a tad longer than you expected- or wanted.
And I am looking forward to a new journey.
One that has my sights set on a new course.
My kids grew up and became self-sufficient.
They finished school, got jobs, bought cars, learned how to do their own laundry, had friends, travelled.
They pay their own bills.
Take care of their own lives.
And I felt useless.
Every single job and purpose I thought was mine-
It happened over time of course,
but one day- not so long ago- I woke up to the realization that my Mom-Job was pretty much done.
(Sidenote: don't get me wrong. I will ALWAYS be their mom....and be there for them every step of the way. But my meal making, school teaching, laundry of multiple loads, chauffeur, referee, constantly on call 24/7 mom duties seemed to vanish.)
It took my breath away when it hit me.
And I sat there dumfounded.
and realized....I felt pretty much:
I have been wracking my brain on where to go.
I mean- basically it's like I retired from the only job I have ever known for 23 years!
What do I do?
Where do I go?
Who needs me?
What's my title?
I'm too young to retire and have WAY TOO MUCH energy to sit back and do nothing.
Sitting outside one afternoon- in between the newly mowed grass, the weeded garden, the clean (and empty) house, with no supper to make, no one to chauffeur...with basically nothing else left to do.....I decided I had to figure out just what it is I NEEDED to do to get that Fulfilled feeling back.
The feeling I used to get at the end of a day where;
I had woken my kids with my silly "Good Morning" song, cooked and fed them their 3 meals (including snacks) throughout the hours, grocery shopped with all 4 going in all directions, taught them all their subjects for the day, taken them on a field trip, tucked them into bed safe and sound after a bedtime story and hugs and fighting with teeth brushing, folding all their laundry and dividing it into 4 neat piles outside each of their bedroom doors....before going bed feeling like I really had done something worthwhile with my time.
All of that consisted of one running theme. And it fulfilled me.
It's what made me feel complete.
It fills me with a sense of joy like nothing else.
Doing something for another human being is what makes me tick.
And I need to figure out where and how to do this.
This is my new journey.
And it's just beginning.
I do still have a purpose, as we all do....we just have to find out what it is and then- live it out.
In our Just~One~Life.
And so it begins....