To have a purpose....

Well hello there...
It has been oh so long since my last post.
Life has taken me on a journey of sorts.
Ups and downs, back around, and I finally have my feet headed into a semi-alright direction.

It's funny, all paths eventually lead to the one you are supposed to take, but detours you choose often muddle your way and it may take a tad longer than you expected- or wanted.

I'm back.
And I am looking forward to a new journey.
One that has my sights set on a new course.

~

So,
My kids grew up and became self-sufficient.
They finished school, got jobs, bought cars, learned how to do their own laundry, had friends, travelled.
They pay their own bills.
Take care of their own lives.
And I felt useless.
Every single job and purpose I thought was mine-
DISAPPEARED.

It happened over time of course,
but one day- not so long ago- I woke up to the realization that my Mom-Job was pretty much done.
(Sidenote: don't get me wrong. I will ALWAYS be their mom....and be there for them every step of the way. But my meal making, school teaching, laundry of multiple loads, chauffeur, referee, constantly on call 24/7 mom duties seemed to vanish.)

It took my breath away when it hit me.
And I sat there dumfounded.
and realized....I felt pretty much:

Useless.


I have been wracking my brain on where to go.
I mean- basically it's like I retired from the only job I have ever known for 23 years!

What do I do?
Where do I go?
Who needs me?
What's my title?

I'm too young to retire and have WAY TOO MUCH energy to sit back and do nothing.

Sitting outside one afternoon- in between the newly mowed grass, the weeded garden, the clean (and empty) house, with no supper to make, no one to chauffeur...with basically nothing else left to do.....I decided I had to figure out just what it is I NEEDED to do to get that Fulfilled feeling back.
.......
The feeling I used to get at the end of a day where;
I had woken my kids with my silly "Good Morning" song, cooked and fed them their 3 meals (including snacks) throughout the hours,  grocery shopped with all 4 going in all directions, taught them all their subjects for the day, taken them on a field trip,  tucked them into bed safe and sound after a bedtime story and hugs and fighting with teeth brushing, folding all their laundry and dividing it into  4 neat piles outside each of their bedroom doors....before going bed feeling like I really had done something worthwhile with my time.


All of that consisted of one running theme. And it fulfilled me.

SERVING.

It's what made me feel complete.
Fulfilled.

It fills me with a sense of joy like nothing else.
Doing something for another human being is what makes me tick.
And I need to figure out where and how to do this.

~~~~~

This is my new journey.
And it's just beginning.


I do still have a purpose, as we all do....we just have to find out what it is and then- live it out.

In our Just~One~Life.

And so it begins....