(Beware: a bit of whining may be to follow)
I have to admit- I have been super crabby lately. I get upset over every little thing, every one, every job to do.....
overlapping schedules for 4 kids!!!!!
NEVER EVER ending laundry EVERY DAY!
The list is incredibly long in the spring. With Mike off seeding from morning til morning- everyday chores, schedules, routines fall into my lap alone.
That part is all fine. But I have realized over the years that I am the type of person who needs a moment now and then to re-group my thoughts- ALONE.
I LOVE my alone time....but it seems
I am never alone.
I homeschool. (My choice)
I have 4 kids. (My choice)
I married a farmer. (My choice)
I have 4 homeschooled kids who have jobs, rowing, soccer, youth group, skateboards, basketball, horses...not to mention the laundry they create, the food they need (it seems on an hourly basis), the one-on-one time I try to give every so often and of course their 4 different grades I need to keep up on and teach.
I don't like it much right now. Any of it.
A woodpecker woke me up at 5:25am today.
I thought I had better take advantage of the hour before the rest of my family woke up.
So I did what I seem to do when I want to get away from it all....I went running.
But running turned into a walk/run/thought time, and an article I just read in my Runner's Magazine came to mind.
The author was lamenting about her run and the difficulty of it, her schedule and time she seemed to spend on everyone but herself. (Kind of like me at this moment....)
Then it hit her:
"All of a sudden a few people came to mind, some sick, others struggling, and I thought about how much they would love to have the opportunity to run up this hill. I bet they wouldn't think they HAD TO. In the clarity of thinking that comes with adversity, they would likely say they GOT TO run up this hill.
Perhaps I had become so encumbered with my to-dos that I forgot to be thankful for the opportunity to do them."
I am lucky. I am healthy. I have people to love. I have the ability to care for them. I get to.