the orange shoes don't work

(disclaimer: do not feel the need to read the following post if you aren't into racing 

and thoughts and such. 

This Race Report is more for my own peace of mind.... and for those of you who have 

asked me about how "the last Oly went".

Oh....

and to prove how the color of your shoes has no significant impact on your ability to put out a good race result.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last month was my 2nd Olympic Distance Triathlon for the season.

On the same weekend, I thought I would try out the "free" Aquathlon as well....

the one you could register for if you had already paid the fee for the Tri.

This is me...before the Aquathlon:

Note the nervous smile....

as I had no idea what do do in a race like this.

And while I questioned more seasoned Aquathoners as to the method of this race and tips she could share....her main focus was on my shoes.

My Orange Shoes.

"Oh...looks like you have fast shoes. You'll be fine."

Seriously? The color of your shoes makes you fast or not so fast in an Aquathlon?

Cool. 

Guess I was okay then.

As we lined up at the start line ... I noticed a girl turning to stare at my feet. 

(see picture below)

I only hoped they were scaring her....to slow down.

As I looked around me I happened to notice I was old. 

And short ~ and slow looking~  to these fit females.

What was I thinking standing in this group?

Oh right...I had Orange Shoes.

I'd be okay.

I won't give you all the details of the race,

but my time for the

2.5km Run/ 1km Swim/ 2.5km Run

was:

50:03

I never came in last, but I have to tell you~ 

the Orange Shoes could have worked a heck of a lot faster than they did. 

I cut it too close to being the one crawling slowly across the Finish while everyone 

was already at home eating supper.

~~~~~~~~

Fast Forward to Sunday morning....almost 3 hours before Tri start time.

Nerves.

And not nerves of steel.

More like prairie grass in a hurricane wind.

I don't know whether it was because of the "hugeness" of this event....

...if it was the fact that I was alone in the middle of a sea of unknown faces, 

and bikes~~worth 10 times as much as mine.....

...or if it was because there were television cameras and serious looking 

race officials everywhere I looked, 

as the Elites were there to race later that day.

All I knew was, that from Friday's Aquathlon results, my Orange Shoes could not be counted on.

It would be solely  (no pun intended), up to me.

And that is where I had no faith.

Faith is easy when you have something to believe in...like a tangible Orange Shoe.

But put that tangibility aside and you're left with something you can't see.

I stood at my Transition spot for a ton of time, going over and over my moves I would be making.

It was ridiculous. I had done this many times before.

I analyzed everything~~to where I laid my gels, the alignment of my towel, and the position of the Orange Shoes. 

The ones that couldn't be trusted.

3 hours is a long time to wait. 

And watching the early heats hit the lake 

didn't seem to help.

I have never in all my life been as nervous as I was that morning.

I still don't really know why.

(I do know I seriously have a lot to work on in the area of mind over matter.)

Chanting ...."It's All In My Head" doesn't help either, 

when surrounded by young, fit athletes~~ who seem fearless.

This race was the first one where I felt completely alone.

And I didn't like it.

It was one of those moments when you're surrounded by a ton of people, 

but you are truly by yourself.

In your own head.... battling your own wicked thoughts.

It was the worst Mental Challenge I've had to deal with.

I felt vulnerable, unsure of my abilities, and a disappointment with myself that I couldn't conquer this overwhelming sense of fear.

That's me below, second in, toeing the line.

And wondering if I should turn around and head for home.

Luckily....I HATE quiting. 

And the idea of quitting overrode my feeling of fear.

When the gun went off within seconds of toeing the water line, it was on.

I was still alone, but now I battled the race itself instead of my own thoughts.

And it felt better.

I pushed my fear back and thought I would deal with it later....

(The bike is my favorite part- and I was happy with my time here.

It's also the only leg of the Triathlon where I hardly get passed. 

A good mental boost...

which I need after the swim, as I tend to get passed by numerous others....

(I'm the one rounding the corner)

....and the dreaded run....

where every person on the run route~ I SWEAR~

searches me out just to pass me to say they did.)

I know I need to work on the run over the winter.

It's the biggest weakness I have.

{Besides the Fear weakness}

(As IF the above volunteer needed to remind me with his sign to "SLOW;))

~~~~

My Finish Line pictures are hidden away in the archives.

It was an Okay race, but I wasn't proud of myself.  

My time was reasonable, an exact double of a Sprint I had done earlier in the season....

so I didn't get slower.

But I wasn't happy with my attitude before and while I raced.

I conquered the race itself, but I never conquered my mind.

The fear is still there....

and I'm a bit worried as to if it will still be there the next time I toe the line for a Triathlon.

I need to battle it...and I didn't at this one.

That was more discouraging to me than a slower time.

I wish the battle over my mind was as easy as 

wearing Orange Shoes that made you go faster.....

~~~~~~~~~~

Until next Triathlon season....

the last Tri-Report is now finished:D

~~~~~~~~~~

On a side note:

The neat part about this Triathlon, (which didn't help nerves any), 

was that at the end of my stint, I was able to watch the Elites Race....

which included Edmonton's Paula Findlay....

...and Simon Whitfield himself!

( I watched him set up transition and noticed he took almost as much pain in aligning things as I did. 

Almost;D)

 Elite Female~ Paula: 2nd place (2:05:35)

Elite Male~ Simon: 1st (1:54:12)

{Orange Shoe category~ Me:(3:05:20)}

~~~~