My feet ache. They actually ache more than when I ran my last 10km race in the mountains.
We just got home from Dance Class- a class where we are to be learning 5 types of dances...all of them new to me!
But with every class we take, I learn more than just how to do the Waltz or Fox Trot or Cha Cha. I'm learning more about me. And I don't know if I like it.
I always knew I liked to be "in charge". I remember being very young, and having the entire neighborhood group of kids organized to "do church" in my backyard. Kids that were twice my age were taking "orders" from me, and for some reason they listened- and some how I mangaed to be the usher, song leader, AND the pastor of the entire backyard church. It seemed an easy feat, and as I grew older I felt that taking charge must be my calling.
When I was a bit older, I remember organizing a "Club" with my brother and sister. And- somehow I managed to "organize" the entire thing, at one point holding the president, secretary, AND treasurer position.
(At this point I would like to take a moment to apologize to anyone out there who had to put up with me.)
Ah yes...the bossy child.
But I never saw it that way. Even when I was told I was bossy, the term seemed quite unjustified. What? I was only trying to lead everyone else, who didn't know what they were supposed to be doing. And of course, my ideas were quite brilliant....and quite organized. (Another apology here.)
Which leads me to dance class- the one I just came home from. The one where I am to be learning 5 different types of dance- but not alone. With a "partner". Which means it's to be a joint effort. I think.
One of us needs to lead or there's no direction. And guess what? I want to be the leader.
I end up dragging and pulling when I'm not supposed to.
I'm supposed to wait until I get a nudge from my partner....letting me know which way to spin or promenade.
Oh it's so very hard to give up the leader position. Especially when I think we would do much better traveling over to one side of the room, or spinning at a certain time to the music.
Does any one out there understand this?
To give up my position as the leader is extrememly difficult. And painful.
More painful than my aching feet at this moment.
There's so much more for me to learn than just dance in Dance Class.
1 comment:
Yes!! I went trough the EXACT enlightenment about myself when we took those very same lessons a few years ago. It is a tough thing to recognize about oneself!A lesson that, for me anyway, was a mirror into our marriage at the time. God has worked alot of that type of 'leadership' out of my marriage(out of me), and of that I am very grateful. There is a certain order of leadership especially in a marriage and in dancing. When the right order is there it is a dance that is as beautiful to watch as it is to dance. Happy dancing!
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